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                 GraFix bY OrRdu                                                                  &nbs




p;           
                                The Area BY Shadists -
                                FOR Heloise & LoRdant.


EDITORIAL

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii everyone! Ive done a mega-whopper-bumper-juicy update this year. Another update next year, (hopefully)

M A I N M E N U ****************** [1].............The Shades Chartz *[10]...Rules & Regulations (Lordant) [2].........God Im boring (Keddy) [11].................Shades Scorndel [3].The Art of fighting (Winseer) [12].............New Rules (Lordant) [4]...Destiny of Rubbish (Smarty) [13]...New Rules for Mafia (Lordant) [5]............The Crap Vial (SK) [14]...Extra rules for Fluffy & Ford [6].............Big Noses (Dimmy) [15]....Ye Olde Hat Stories (Qadile) [7]....Noses, Perverts and Metros [16]....Gauntlets Tea-Time Quiz Show [8]...Auntie Lordants Sex Theropy *[17].................Agonising Uncle [9]..How to be Interesting(Keddy) [18].......The Art of Dying (Winseer) * - Donates Updated Last Year


The Shades Charts! - 20 Feb 1989

Voting was good this week. Over two people voted. Please dont vote for me, as I always put myself at number one anyway.
THE LIKES
=========
1 - Heloise (Blush!)                   6 - Lordant (Owns this Area)
2 - Reebok (Blotted 3 years ago)       7 - Sharra (Big drop this week)
3 - Kali (Left Shades a year ago)      8 - Pynkfloid (Voted for himself)
4 - Tyone (Left UK a year ago)         9 - Felina (Who is this?)
5 - Breadroll (Out of no-where! Ouch) 10 - Scarlett (Oh Dear!)
Well, voting was down in the Hates this week. Only 1 vote (other than the votes from 17 Mafia accounts) Dont worry, I made the rest of the chart up.
THE HATES
=========
1 - Noddy (Nasty vicious killer) 6 - Minotaur (2000 votes)
2 - Taurus (xhehe)               7 - Callisto (and again)
3 - Nightmare                    8 - Juarez (Phone Falcon NOW!)
4 - Smit (I am fantastic!)       9 - Grimsword 
5 - Penzance                    10 - Murderer
(Dont worry lads - weve got her account as well - xhehe!)


God Im Boring - By Kiddy

Part 1 - How Curtain rings revolutionised the world.

(EDITED DUE TO LACK OF SPACE) and that is how we got to todays fantastic design.

Next week, Ill explain the concept of railway crossings, and give a detailed list of my train spotting career.

(Sadly cut short due to a fall off a bench at Kings Cross.)


GAUNTLETS TEA-TIME QUIZ SHOW

Welcome to Gauntlet Quiz!

This week, we have an exceptionally difficult question for you to answer. Ill tell you the answer some other time, but for now, heres the question...

If it takes 3 Irishman, 4 days to plant 14 trees, how many sausages are there in a butchers shop?

Mbx your answers to 019990001 - The first correct answer I recieve will win the chance to answer another question.

Gauntlet.


SHADES SCORNDEL!

This is edition 6 of SHADES SCORNDEL! The only Area on Shades that even dares to mention Hazeii without fear of a Blotting! Anyway, on with the update - Remember, Shades Scorndel is here to keep you informed (both of you..) of what REALLY goes on in Shades!


SHADES SURVEY

First we have results of the SHADES SURVEY we had, a few weeks back.

Question 1) Have you ever been blotted by Lordant?

Question 2) We asked, "What would you LEAST like to happen to you?" Question 3) We asked, "How many times has Smit asked for your Account?" Thanks to everyone that took part in this survey. By analysing your answers, I have discovered that I dont think I should do any more surveys.


FREDDIE STARR ATE MY MORLOCH!

Exclusive interview with Ambushbug..

Ambushbug recently told me a rather horrific story, about Freddie Starr eating his Morloch! Ambushbug, as most of you probably didnt want to know, created the nasty MORLOCH, which can be found stalking the Underground Spring Area in Shades.

This creature has a nasty habit of attacking players called PYNKFLOID, and has recently been winning most of the battles. (The Morloch incidently, was rumoured to be the next contender to fight Mike Tyson.)

But last Thursday evening, Ambushbug invited Freddie Starr to stay with him, as Freddie had a great idea for a new hairstyle for Amby. Freddie however, took a great dislike to the salmonela sandwiches he was offered, and instead, had MORLOCH ON TOAST whilst Ambushbug took part in the Shades Quiz.

Ambushbug was said to be greatly distressed by this incident, but was unavailable for comment yesterday. We did manage to contact Freddie, who said he didnt like the Morloch much anyway, and prefered hamsters.


MURDER!!!!!!

Yes, there has been a murder on Shades!!

Yesterday, VALDEMERE the GALLANT (ie Me!) was notoriously SLAUGHTERED at the Natural Cavern by THE BAT! VALDEMERE, was on his all time highest score of 2154 points before the incident, and now has only 1577 points.

THE BAT didnt last long however, as it too was quickly caught and killed by PYNKFLOID, who is rumoured to be something of an expert at killing bats.

Unfortunatly, I was unavailable for comment last time I called.


CHILD ABUSE! MAK IS FOUND GUILY.

The Scorndel, first with the news as usual, have just heard that MAK was charged, and found guilty of CHILD ABUSE.

MAK was caught on Sunday, after cruelly KICKING poor KEDDY outside the Pub. MAK claimed he was provoked by Keddy, who made insults about his intelligence. Mak would like to point out that none of these rumours are true, even though Mak spelt his name wrong on the Criminal Charge form.

Keddy has too distressed to speak about the incident, but a close friend said his condition was SATISFACTORY.


IVE HAD 40 MEN IN A NIGHT!

PYNKFLOID last night made a claim that he has had a staggering 40 men in the BS in ONE NIGHT! (Rest of story Censored as its too gory for you lot...!)


SHADES IN LATIN?

Rumour has it, that SHADES is to be re-written in LATIN!

As you may have heard, Shades has just been launched in France, and Hazeii hopes it will be as big a success as in the UK. (Shades Scorndel doesnt think so, as you have to type things like BONJOUR instead of HI, which is very annoying)

However, back to the point of this story - SHADES is next to be written in LATIN! This version will eventually replace the ENGLISH version, as Hazeii has been planning to change the current version for some time.

Hazeii explains - "There are now far too many Immortals on Shades, which lead me to believe that the game was too easy.". Hazeii continues, "By writing Shades in Latin, I think this will make the game much harder, and therefore help to keep the number of Immortals down."

We will keep you posted with any developments on this..


THE END!

Thats it for this week. Next week we hope to bring you part 96 of our interview with BLOTT, and we also hope to have an exclusive interview with FROBAR.

Dont forget to let us know of any Scorndelous activities in Shades.