The Thief's Election manifesto

My Client the People's Thief has asked me to pass on the following statement:-

"I was not of course especially surprised when my fellow mobiles urged me to stand in this election, but was most reluctant to do so until to my delight and gratification I found myself receiving many messages of support and encouragement from both mortals and immortals on the game to allow my name to be put forward.

Somewhat reluctantly therefore, I found myself backing into the limelight, becoming immediately the subject of vicious and hurtful personal attacks from the self-styled front runner Wizzo.

He lost no time in dragging up my regrettable criminal past, but what was certainly a fair point originally became somewhat overdone by this person who, had I not vowed not to sink to his level , I would have had little hesitation in describing as a wild-eyed egomaniac with an unslakeable lust for power and..well lust generally.

I am not going to disguise my errant youth. We have all done things of which we are not especially proud. I confess I used to do the odd bit of harmless pilfering, the occasional recreational murder. But this was all part of my essential role - a role I might say created specifically for me by no less an august personage than the Emeritus Coder himself, for whose implicit support for me in my campaign I am extremely grateful - as one of the spices in what would otherwise be a fairly bland game.

Love the Sinner but Hate the Sin:

I AM that Sinner!

But enough of countering these cheap smears from a jumped-up and over-sexed wiz-come-lately, what would be my POSITIVE contributions to This Great Game of Ours. I hear you all clamouring to know? Well, unlike the preposterous Wizzo or the justifiably loathed Fluffs, I do of course spend ALL my time out of Safe.
I socialise with the mortals:
I know what makes them tick:
I roam the same land as they do.
I do NOT spend hour after hour lurking in safe, shooting the breeze, whimsically lunching this perfectly harmless mortal and jailing that one.

As mayor therefore I would urge the Coder to Do Something about the immortals. The balance of the game as tipped much too far in their favour. I would propose then:-

(1) No immortal to be allowed to use more than 1 mortal "kill" or boot in any one reset

(2) Immortality to CEASE to be set in stone and permanent. I suggest all immortals have 10K deducted from their score EVERY month UNLESS they can demonstrate some positive contribution they have made to the game in the previous few weeks. The details of these would have to be hammered out in detail but I would some or all of the following could be included:-
(1) organising the quizzes and/or BBs OR being a quiz qm
(2) genuinely helping a genuine mortal
(3) Elegantly or wittily or in some original way KILLING a higher level with a second. Killer software is not consistent with "elegance"
1 or more of these MIGHT reduce the 10K deduction or wipe it out entirely for a particular month. I think the game would be livened up no end by nervous bewitchers and warlocks desperately trying to get that last 10K again. It would do them no harm whatsoever to be reminded periodically of what it is to be mortal!

Like all the other candidates, I would declare war on the Lag, but make no empty promises about how successful I, a mere thief, could be in achieving this.

Finally, a word about the candidate I have not yet mentioned, namely Dazzle. He is an opponent and I would of course MUCH prefer you to vote for ME rather than him. However, if for some extraordinary reason you feel my candidacy lacks a certain appeal, then may I urge you to give Dazzle a go? Frankly, the last thing the game needs is a Wiz who is mayor. Wizzo is already bad enough and would spend even more time trying to seduce female personas who are themselves shaving trouble keeping straight faces:

Fluffs already wields the power of the pen with eloquence and guile. Neither of these in two, in short, needs more than they already have.

All I ask, guvs and guvesses, is the chance for a fresh start! Vote for The Thief and protect your valuables!"

Branwell (on behalf of the thief)