From: Darkangel
Subject: Beer Theory
Dated: Wed Oct 02 23:54:32

Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent
analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain
phytoeostrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into
To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1
hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :-

From: Darkangel
Subject: Beer Theory(2)
Dated: Wed Oct 02 23:56:09 (1085)

1.) Gained weight
2.) Talked excessively without making sense
3.) Became overly emotional
4.) Couldn't drive
5.) Failed to think rationally
6.) Argued over nothing
7.) Had to sit down while urinating
8.) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong
No further testing was considered necessary.

From: Smit
Subject: Darkangel
Dated: Thu Oct 03 07:55:34 (1086)

You are obviously a very brave man!

From: Bluebirf
Subject: Darkangle
Dated: Thu Oct 03 16:15:48 (1087)

Well, Ellie, I suppose that joke means the end of servicing by Darkangle??
xxx Blue

From: Lister
Subject: Darkangle
Dated: Thu Oct 03 17:17:41 (1088)

who is Darkangle ?

From: Buffy
Subject: Darkangle
Dated: Thu Oct 03 17:41:51 (1089)

Lister....stay of the drugs please.

From: Ronin
Subject: Darkangel
Dated: Thu Oct 03 17:59:12 (1090)

Darkangel - TOP DRAW!
Very good :)

From: Orddu
Subject: Quiz next week (10th)
Dated: Thu Oct 03 21:39:13 (1091)

Next week's QM is: Yog
Put a video on for "The West Wing" and
get yerselves here for a quiz!
9pm, game 1 unless we get lucky and someone opens
the quiz game!
Support your local QM!

From: Lister
Subject: website
Dated: Fri Oct 04 01:46:37 (1092)

new forum on playshades....;)

From: Smit
Subject: Chattrack
Dated: Fri Oct 04 12:26:26 (1093)

Listys ct has been removed!!!
Whats with that??
naughty lister in trouble again.

From: Lister
Subject: smity
Dated: Fri Oct 04 14:01:35 (1094)

which one removed smity?
must be loosing my memory!

From: Smit
Subject: Spam
Dated: Fri Oct 04 15:12:36 (1095)

Fat Bald Ugly Insecure Broke?
Did you know you can learn to hypnotize women into bed?
etc etc
They people sure know theyre audience.
How did they collect all this information about me??

From: Aeia
Subject: Meet pics
Dated: Sun Oct 06 20:55:48 (1096)

Finally got around to putting up some pics
from the Bouncy Castle meet in Sussex
they cam be found from

From: Chant
Subject: Bloodbath results
Dated: Sun Oct 06 22:07:24 (1097)

Tonight's winner by a hefty margin is Bodybag - 13 kills and 1 death
In second place, Moriarty (who had a truly appalling connection, even
by his standards - but at least he tried!) - 4 kills, 1 defeat, 6 deaths
Third is Theft - 1 kill, 1 defeat and 0 deaths (Boy can he run fast!!)
Fourth is Mjollnir - 1 kill and no deaths (he was running after Theft!)
In fifth place, Jedodej - 1 defeat and 4 deaths (a very good first go!)
Poor Bogbrain got killed 7 times and Gbabes got trounced 4 times and

From: Chant
Subject: Bloodbath results
Dated: Sun Oct 06 22:09:23 (1098)

and so they flounced off in a huff - but no doubt they'll be back next
week to wreak their revenge!
Trigger mysteriously vanished after a brief while but managed to
avoid being killed (and he didn't chop anyone into pieces either)
so hopefully he'll be back on the warpath next week too!
Congrats to everyone and see you next Sunday!

From: Orddu
Subject: Quiz Result
Dated: Thu Oct 10 22:49:47 (1099)

Tonight's QM was: Yog
Scores were:
Orddu - 7
Millie - 6
Magellan - 5
Aegisalus - 4
Rembrandt - 4
Branwell - 2
Dejenol - 1
Zero - 1
QuizPoint - 1
Bogbrain - 1
DeTritus - 1
Yog - 1
Brilliant turnout this week - thanks everyone!
Next week's QM is: Guiseppe!
Be here, 9pm on Thursday!

From: Siva
Subject: I wish to say:
Dated: Fri Oct 11 11:46:13 (1100)


From: Buffy
Subject: I wish to reply:
Dated: Fri Oct 11 13:13:14 (1101)

Hello to you too.

From: Bluebirf
Subject: I wish to too:
Dated: Fri Oct 11 14:07:26 (1102)

Siva! You old reprobate!
...or is that just reprobate?
...or just old?
It is wonderful to see you! We have all missed you.
...or we have missed all of you??
Come back soon!

From: Chant
Subject: Bloodbath Results
Dated: Sun Oct 13 22:13:08 (1103)

A very hotly fought contest tonight with lots of bloodshed!
In first place, Axe - 18 kills, 4 defeats and 0 deaths
Close behind in second, Bodybag - 19 kills, 2 defeats and 0 deaths
Hotfoot after him .. Theft in third - 20 kills and 0 deaths
Fourth (valiantly fought!) Aegisalaus - 1 kill, 3 defeats and 23 deaths
Umbrelle did very well and came fifth - 2 defeats and 23 deaths
And Conan was last but not least in sixth - 1 kill and 23 deaths
Congrats all and see you next week!

From: Proximo
Subject: Fighting
Dated: Wed Oct 16 09:34:32 (1104)

Im not sure how hard this would be, or if anyone would even agree
to it, but is it possible to implament a 1 death penalty for qq'ing
during a fight!
I think it would bring some life back to fighting, and would hinder
peoples ability to climb the top 40 fighters list as easily
as "some" are doing!:D
Even if the death didnt mean points loss, and i dont even care about
the kills!
But for those of us who are doing it for fun and glory
are getting the shaft with these darn perfect record qq'ers

From: Proximo
Subject: Fighting II
Dated: Wed Oct 16 09:36:48 (1105)

By no means does this mean I dont enjoy fighting!
It is just a rant!
Brought to you by yours truley
Proximo the -qq hating- Valiant

From: BodyBag
Subject: Ranting, not Fighting.
Dated: Wed Oct 16 11:52:23 (1106)

Proximo my little Cup Cake! How delightful to see you again! xxx
You pose an interesting question, a veritable conumdrum!
It would be hard to implement, true, but would restore the true nature
of wombat on Shades.
You can tell a qq'er cos they are never around when you want them back.
Which makes be sad.
For line 4 Read "of combat on Shades."
For line 6 Read "Which makes me sad."
I always mess up when trying to be klever.
xxx BodyBag

From: ZEON
Subject: For line 1 read...
Dated: Wed Oct 16 17:48:03 (1107)

Review, delete , insert

From: BodyBag
Subject: For line 1...
Dated: Wed Oct 16 18:54:50 (1108)

I know that! You should have seen the message before!
You are a CupCake too, ZEON!
BodyBag xxx

From: Buffy
Subject: fighting
Dated: Wed Oct 16 21:19:48 (1109)

qq should cost you more points than it does.
at least a death and half your points if you are above sorc.
on the old MUD game it was a blottable (FOD) offence and if an immort
saw you you would get blotted
Buffy (I hate to agree with Proximo!)

From: Smit
Subject: whatever
Dated: Wed Oct 16 21:55:53 (1110)

Reset the personna file and be done with it already!
Any objections, mail them to me and I will be sure to air them
until then we will go with the original plan
I suggest we get the two biggest peacekeepers on the planet
Sharron and Bush should do the trick, bring in Hamas for arbitrator.
Finish the violence.... umm think of the kids....
Lost for words..

From: Medy
Subject: quitting nancies
Dated: Wed Oct 16 21:56:48 (1111)

but how would you destinguish between a flee and a quit

From: Smit
Subject: brown trousers
Dated: Wed Oct 16 22:05:52 (1112)

In my opinion if your not allowed to cower in safe for the bb
then cowering at the loggin prompt is even more crap
lets just start by stopping it and naming the hideous arses
that continue to do it... Trigger counted 38 counts..
and we he was only in the arena.. isnt there a way out?
I think there is
Give smit the power to blow.
:_clear(personnafile0%_+) = 1 confirm %^HELL WITH IT&@!

From: ZEON
Subject: The answer
Dated: Wed Oct 16 22:25:40 (1113)

1 clear personna file
2 triple points need to reach immortal
3 add an input buffer so as to stop scripting
4 remove qq in a fight
5 randomise some routes again to combat scripting
6 go back in time, kill Zugg so that Zmud was never conceived
7 pass a law that makes ownership of any modem faster than 1200/75
punishable by death
8 make all monitors so that they only show white text on a
blue background
9 go the pub and enjoy life

From: Ronin
Subject: The Answer
Dated: Thu Oct 17 10:21:41 (1114)

Too Bloody Right!
Big it up for The Big Z!
Make Smit a Coder
I'm Eating a Bacon Sandwich
I'm sitting in my Boxer Shorts Eating Said Sandwich
Ronin - Naked and Eating Bacon
It's on Fire

From: Lister
Subject: Ronin
Dated: Thu Oct 17 18:59:14 (1115)

Ronin !! came across some bacon while
stealing cakes
will sneak it you when i see you

From: Philote
Subject: qq
Dated: Thu Oct 17 20:27:56 (1116)

I'm not afraid to say I qq for everyone
you could make it my bumper sticker
not that I'm ever out of safe anyway....
Philote the I qq for valiants Bewitcher

From: Orddu
Subject: Quiz Result
Dated: Thu Oct 17 22:35:05 (1117)

Tonight's QM was: Branwell.
Scores were:
Rembrandt - 15
Orddu - 13
Millie - 6
Fwog - 5
Scytale - 4
Taug - 3
Dejenol - 1
Next week's QM is: me!
Be here, now the nights are drawing in why not?

From: Buffy
Subject: qq in fights
Dated: Fri Oct 18 13:08:27 (1118)

yeah just make it impossible to qq mid fight

From: Siva
Subject: Oh do be...
Dated: Fri Oct 18 20:20:56 (1119)

...quiet Buffy. You are so silly. Put a sock in it.
Belt up, there's a good little girl.
Pull up your socks and buckle your shoes.
Brush your hair neatly and tie it back off your face
with a bow.
I lick your nose in salutation.

From: Smit
Subject: Siva
Dated: Fri Oct 18 21:04:12 (1120)

My stories are nearly as long as your phalus!
Let the rampant sex and debauchery continue forever
Just my hideous opinion.

From: Azmodan
Subject: Joke
Dated: Fri Oct 18 21:08:16 (1121)

Subject: A transcript taken from a radio communication
The following is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation that
occurred on 04th October 1995, between a US Navy ship off the coast
of England, and the British Coast guard authority.
The transcript was released by the MoD on 10/10/95.
BRITS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a
AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north,
to avoid a collision

From: Azmodan
Subject: joke part II
Dated: Fri Oct 18 21:12:38 (1122)

BRITS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to
the South to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.
BRITS: Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.

From: Azmodan
Subject: joke past III
Dated: Fri Oct 18 21:13:54 (1123)

BRITS: We are a LIGHTHOUSE, now Fuck off.

msg deleted (1124)

From: Azmodan
Subject: another joke
Dated: Fri Oct 18 21:34:24 (1125)

Three mice were in a bathroom trying to get some exercise. Since the
wheel in their cage broke, they decided to try swimming.
The first mouse decided to swim in the sink. Upon getting back, he
commented to the other mice on the swim. 'Well,' he said.'the swim
wasn't particularly great, the water was too shallow, and it was
too close from shore to shore.
The second mouse swam in the bathtub, and when he got back, he was
very excited. 'The swim in the tub was great, there was plenty

From: Azmodan
Subject: Another joke part II
Dated: Fri Oct 18 21:35:59 (1126)

of room to swim, and the water was warm and as deep as you'd like.
Not to be outdone, the third mouse went swimming in the toilet.
He came back after he was done, breathing hard. 'Never again,' he
was muttering to himself, 'I'll never do that again, that's for
One of the other mice turned to him and said, 'What happened?'
The third mouse looked over his shoulder at the toilet, 'I was enjoying
myself, doing some deep diving, when all of a sudden, this big black

From: Azmodan
Subject: Another Joke part III
Dated: Fri Oct 18 21:36:52 (1127)

cloud comes overhead, it starts pouring rain, there was a crash
of thunder and the water got very rough. If some good samaritan
hadn't thrown down a log, I would have drowned!

From: Leonardo
Subject: Unfair play
Dated: Fri Oct 18 22:09:03 (1128)

I have noticed that certain immortals are indulging
in practices at best irritating, at worst downright
unfair. These include stealing T off a mortal,
removing ones weapon with no warning,
and setting v1-4 to 'girl' etc so it
messes up ones T collecting abilities.
Is this acceptable?

From: ZEON
Subject: Unfair Play
Dated: Sat Oct 19 01:58:44 (1129)

Immortals stealing treasure off a mortal is not
allowed and any instances of it that I see will
be dealt with, as will stealing weapons from them.
The Vobj's can be set to anything as long as it is not
abusive or obscene.Any player worth their salt can tell the
difference between the real girl and a fake one :-)
If it buggers up your triggers, scripts or automapping
then tough, dont use them!

From: Leo
Subject: Response Unfair play
Dated: Sat Oct 19 04:32:26 (1130)

Thankyou for your swift response on my points
of complaint. hopefullly this will stop any
further trouble. Concerning setting v1-4 as 'girl'
this messes up ones abilities to use the rose
to gain T via the 'real girl' whether one
is using Telnet, Java, Orgasmatron, zMUD or whatever.
Human nature being what it is, asking someone
not to do something is a sure-fire way of
getting some indivual to do that. So
why not adjust the Z80 code to take this
into account instead of blaming MUD

From: ZEON
Subject: girl/rose
Dated: Sat Oct 19 08:24:03 (1131)

I dont see wat you mean by it messes up your ability
to give the rose. You can only give the rose to the
real girl. If you try to give the rose to a Vobj called
the girl then yu simply get the message that the Strange
Little girl is not here :-)
As for changing code, its hardly practible to make it
impossible for immortals to steal things things!
If you rely on playing the game by using macro's,scripts etc
then you will just have to put up with not everything
running smoothly <cont>

From: ZEON
Subject: girl/rose <cont>
Dated: Sat Oct 19 08:43:08 (1132)

some times. Of course the other answer is to actually
learn the game properly and and play it in the way
it was meant to be played and not just by sitting
back and letting the facilites of your client do
all the 'work' for you
I have a hunch that if all players were made to
use basic telnet to play the game then 50% of them
wouldnt even be able to get to the city by themselves -:-)

From: Bluebirf
Subject: My 2p..
Dated: Sat Oct 19 09:36:34 (1133)

I'll add my 2p worth...
This a a great game, apporaching 20 years old but still very playable.
Being straightforward text only it is open to abuse, it could be coded
out, but hey, the basic game still works on Pentium 4s with 1mb line speed
compare that with Spectrums on 1200/75 and marvel at the ingenuity of the
If you get to an immortal and you still need 'ex' all the time, you have
to flee from anything, you can't find the girl 'cos only your mud client

From: Bluebirf
Subject: ...2p more..
Dated: Sat Oct 19 09:37:08 (1134)

...knows her route then you don't really have an immortal, do you?
Why not rename it 'ZMud'? Or xxx the ZMud Wizard?
I made it by: learning the game: making friends: making t hunting
strategies: learning to cope with attacks: dealing with spurious messages
generated by immortals:
Yes - it is not fun being attacked at 199,300 (thanx, Proxy!)
fleeing then losing a further 14k all in a few seconds
of game play. But **** happens!...

From: Bluebirf
Subject: Newbies
Dated: Sat Oct 19 09:37:41 (1135)

On another note, there have been a few Newbies on recently!
It is great when experienced players give them help, (I try, but I'm
not a saint! :P) Lets encourage them as much as we can.
And to newbies: You can get quite a lot of points by just bumbling
about collecting t - but you will have painful deaths if you can't
deal with attacks. Come to the BB's on Sunday at 21:00(UK time) and learn
a bit about fighting.... cont.

From: Bluebirf
Subject: Newbies con't
Dated: Sat Oct 19 09:38:13 (1136)

...Ask for help! The immortals are usually just scratching their bums
and getting bladdered in the pub anyway! They had help to get to
where they are - Smit was brought in on a stretcher! (Or was it
carried out on a stretcher? I forget?).
But wind people up - be rude/arrogant/aggressive/offhand and you
will find it is not such an easy game. ;)

From: Smit
Subject: Stretchers!
Dated: Sat Oct 19 15:30:57 (1137)

I refuse to accept this slander.
I was only put on a stretcher for the vodka drip they promised me.
As far as Leo's concerns - I would be booting and zapping any immort
who steals t or especially weapons as this is not helpful to the game and
can only be seen as interfering as far as Im concerned.
If it has been going on please stop it, its not helpful
On all the other subjects... I wholeheartedly ...........
Transmission cut for abusive language
chill people

From: Siva
Subject: Leo's pearl
Dated: Sat Oct 19 15:48:49 (1138)

I stole his perishing pearl as a joke and offered to buy it
from him if he cared to name a price. Humourless bastard that
he is, he came on to accuse me of abuse. So I am guilty.
Do with me as you will.
Love, Siva xxx
PS: I am no longer on here much, so you will have to email
me to tell me what my fate is. Bonne chance.

From: Ellie
Subject: City
Dated: Sat Oct 19 16:51:33 (1139)

I could get to the City on my own Zeon
And to a lot more places too...
If you need any help finding your way around the Game
Come up and see me sometime.

From: ZEON
Subject: Ellie
Dated: Sat Oct 19 21:54:23 (1140)

And what pray tell makes you think I was talking about you my love?
Guilty Conscience or just majorly insecure??

From: Ellie
Subject: Zeon
Dated: Sat Oct 19 23:21:36 (1081)

ER I was just letting you know
That I could make my way around the game
Without the use of aids, so to speak.

From: Medy
Subject: Ellie
Dated: Sun Oct 20 11:13:22 (1082)

Does the lack of aids include your zimmerframe.
I'm sure I saw you using it last time you were out!

From: Bluebirf
Subject: Ellie
Dated: Sun Oct 20 12:46:48 (1083)

Well, she had the zimmer frame with her, but she couldn't get to the
City, as someone had disconnected the power to the Stannah Lift at
the Large Branch.

There are no more messages.

There are no more messages.
From: Chant
Subject: Bloodbath results
Dated: Sun Oct 27 22:16:55

It's as near as dammit a draw!
Axe has 4 kills, 1 defeat and 0 deaths
and Whinnie has 5 kills and 1 death
Bodybag was raging up there with them - 4 kills and 0 deaths
Whilst Conan and Moriarty panted at his heels with ...
Moriarty 1 kill, 1 defeat and 3 deaths and Conan 2 kills and 1 death
Theft snuck along waiting to pounce with 1 defeat and 0 deaths
Poor Ummbrelle got killed 7 times and Jemima got killed 6 times so they
retired gracefully and poisoned the winners alecups....

From: Pauli
Subject: Meet
Dated: Mon Oct 28 14:01:03 (1101)

Err do you mean the pub by the river where Az threw up?
Not entirely sure we'd be welcome there :)
I was just near Blackfriars bridge thats all I can remember.
Pauli xx

From: Branwell
Subject: Meet
Dated: Tue Oct 29 16:41:39 (1102)

We have been back there since L'Affaire Azmodan(!)

From: Smit
Subject: Meet
Dated: Wed Oct 30 16:09:45 (1103)

Couldnt think of a decent subject line....
Seriously thought I have been mega busy so I havent seen anyone in a while
I will see you when I see you.
On another note, someone around here is selling a CBR 900 Fireblade.
No way I can buy it but I did take it out for a rather long test drive!!
I need a racing bike again!