Could we please talk about something less smelly?
 

From: Wired
Subject: Something Else
Dated: Wed Nov 01 17:22:20

As per usual, such as? How about your
mild wane of clonde burls?
 

From: Edelweiss
Subject: curls
Dated: Thu Nov 02 17:12:13

well, they tend to come out of the hairband when i'm playing
hockey and they get jolly tangled sometimes, but i bet yours do too
 

From: Archaro
Subject: petrol redux
Dated: Thu Nov 02 20:01:44

Well, so the fuel companies announced record profits AND hinted
that another rise might be necessary?
.
Hmm, wonder how people are going to take that one.
add And my local petrol station has run out of unleaded... people been pan
buying all day.
Makes me almost glad I'm off to Kosovo for a week.
.
Archie
 

From: Archaro
Subject: spelliynge
Dated: Thu Nov 02 20:04:03

And when they had bought enough pans, they filled them with petrol.
.

From: SheDevil
Subject: From SheDevil & Zero
Dated: Thu Nov 02 22:53:48

Thanks to everyone who congratulated us on our Wedding Day.
We had a fantastic time and loads of pictures were taken,
which shall be revealed at the earliest opportunity possible.
.
Our honeymoon at CentreParcs was exciting, if not tiring from
the extra "exercise" and "activities"!!
.
Huggies to all - love,
Z and S.
 

From: Biffa
Subject: Just to say hi...
Dated: Fri Nov 03 00:21:31

Just a quick visit to say hi to all those who knew me and
and are still about. I still play a MUD just not this
one - see you all again soon sometime.
.
Take Care
Biffa/Electric/Easykill and now Gerf elsewhere
 

From: Benedict
Subject: Helllllllllo
Dated: Fri Nov 03 15:16:46

hello all. Long time no see. I have been travelling
seeking enlightenment and the truth. All I found was a
Brazilian rent boy with scabies (sigh). Still, am back now and
I look forward to seeing you individually in the Confessional.
Ben xx
 

From: Aloysius
Subject: Benedict...
Dated: Sun Nov 05 17:45:45

Sing ho! for the life of a bear!
xxx
 

From: Chant
Subject: Bloodbath Results
Dated: Sun Nov 05 21:49:53

Tonight's winner wasn't very hard to pick....it's
Gypsy - 6 kills and no deaths
Nobody else scored anything...
Bogus played with the mobiles and poor Moonraker got bopped lots
 

From: Benedict
Subject: Aloysius
Dated: Tue Nov 07 14:15:14

LOVE THAT BEAR!
 

From: Blondie
Subject: Room
Dated: Wed Nov 08 16:08:17

Can I have my own boudoir now please Zeon?
Hugz xxxxxxxxxx
 

From: Blondie
Subject: Wiz Room
Dated: Fri Nov 10 12:18:57

Sorry to be a nag...but can I have a room please?
More hugz xxx
 

From: Siva
Subject: room
Dated: Fri Nov 10 12:32:08

You might try emailing him at sexyzeon@zeonlair.demon.co.uk.
bigboy@zeonlair.demon.co.uk also might work.
Siva xxx
 

From: Darkangel
Subject: X-mas meet
Dated: Fri Nov 17 14:43:23

I'm up for it!
This time I may stand a chance of getting there,
no BR to let me down...sigh
 

From: Bergkamp
Subject: X mas meet
Dated: Fri Nov 17 16:23:34

I;ll be there....
..
thats if you really are unlucky.
.
Bergy.
 

From: Pauli
Subject: Sulk
Dated: Fri Nov 17 18:11:55

Well you would pick a day when Im not even in the country!
and I havent seen Bridlet for AGES!
:-(
 

From: Mindy
Subject: Sulk
Dated: Fri Nov 17 19:50:42

You'll have to blame Bridlet for the date... coz its
the only one she WAS in the country for!!
 

From: Art
Subject: X-mas meet
Dated: Fri Nov 17 20:10:29

It's down in my diary, but as everyone knows, xmas is a period
for clashing engagements, so whether or not I'll be there I'm
not too sure.
 

From: Slimeball
Subject: X-Mas Meet
Dated: Fri Nov 17 20:27:27

Actually Art, Xmas is no different from any other time of the year.
As always, people are faced with choices, do this..or do that.
And everyone chooses what they want to do.
So, if you would rather be somewhere else other than the Shades Meet
Please have the bottle to say so,
Don't hide behind a "busy diary" excuse.
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey Break II
Dated: Fri Nov 17 21:30:19

1) Why can't a bicycle stand up on it's own?
"'cos it's too tyred!"
.
2) What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
"a carrot!"
.
3) What do you call a sheep with no legs?
"a cloud!" ... or ... "a tampon for an elephant!"
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Bonus Jokey II...
Dated: Fri Nov 17 21:34:52

1) What U.S. state is tall in the middle and round on either side?
.
"Ohio!"
.
.
(snigger, snigger, snigger!)
 

From: Aeia
Subject: Xmas Meet
Dated: Fri Nov 17 22:43:24

Doubt I'll be able to make it as I'll be up north by then
Dont fancy attempting to travel on the 24th!!
.
I'll be back down south for New Year tho!
 

From: Barefoot
Subject: Big Boy..
Dated: Sat Nov 18 13:29:27

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIKKLE LORRY DRIVER.
see your catching Brannie and Siva up..
a few more years and you'll join the BIG BOYS CLUB then..
does this mean its freebies all round today then, cos if it does..
can I have a Man with plenty of STAMINA.
Have a great day and BEHAVE, NO drunken archies on here tonight!!
LOVE BAREFOOT XXXXXXXXXXX. oops nearly did too many.
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey Break III
Dated: Sat Nov 18 19:17:59

.
There's seems to be some competition coming from the DailyNews
newspaper regarding "Lawyer" jokes. And after my latest grand
performance recently, I thought I would take a short break
and give you this today instead :*)...
.
.
1) Why don't sharks attack lawyers?
"Professional Courtesy"
.
2) What is the difference between lawyers and vampires?
"Vampires only suck blood at night"
.
3) Why did the lawyer cross the road?
"To sue the chicken on the other side"
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Teeth
Dated: Sat Nov 18 19:49:36

All I really want for Christmas are my two front teeth!
My two front teeth, ohhh my two front teeth!
If only I could get my two front teeth, then I could wish you
Merry Christmas!!
.
PLEASE NOTE: The above character is only two years old and
has not had the pleasure of piercing teeth, puncturing the
soft and sensitive gums. This character shall have a painful
memory for the rest of their life towards Dentists.
But, do not fear because Claims Direct is here to save from
pockets full of money!!!
 

From: Archaro
Subject: A Christmas Story
Dated: Sat Nov 18 20:56:28

Twas the night before Christmas,
When a duck hit the sled.
Santa fell out,
And dropped on his head.
He was barely alive,
This jolly old elf.
Being the Christmas Season,
I thought of myself.
'Hey,' I cried, 'I don't see any presents for me here.'
So I concussed him with a Christmas pudding,
And stole the reindeer.
.
(Apologies to Scott Adams)
.
Watch out for the sequel: 'Elf Wars: The Taste of Venison'
 

From: Art
Subject: Slimeball
Dated: Sun Nov 19 02:17:32

Well, I do have other pissups I may be invited to, I just don't know
whenthey are yet.
 

From: Chant
Subject: Bloodbath Results
Dated: Sun Nov 19 22:17:52

Tonight's winner is Gypsy - 11 kills and no deaths
In second place (a late entry), Jivecatt - 9 kills and 1 death
Third is Bogus (the mobiles' friend) - 4 kills and 1 defeat
Fourth is Ergo (well done!) - with 1 kill and 5 deaths
Motley, Surazal and Bobbing all joined in for the first time and
did really well - the poor things all got bounced on by the rent-a-mob
though and only one person (Gypsy) actually killed an experienced fighter
the rest bopped newbies!
Congrats to all!
 

From: Bergkamp
Subject: bloodbath
Dated: Mon Nov 20 01:03:25

Ok.
when are these bloodbaths?? I might join in next time!
have to try and remember how to fight.
.
B.
 

From: Brid
Subject: sulk
Dated: Mon Nov 20 16:30:17

whoa, now it's my fault all of the sudden!
The date had been set bij the time I entered te conversation!
It was just a very convenient one for me... :)
 

From: Brid
Subject: X-mas meet
Dated: Mon Nov 20 16:35:00

About this pub....
They weren't planning on being open on december 23d,
but wouldn't mind opening for us if we showed up with
enough people.
But I get the feeling that most people would prefer it to
be more casual, so they could show up whenever they please.
...
So, anyone got other ideas?
 

From: Brid
Subject: erratum
Dated: Mon Nov 20 16:40:16

Gosh, I must be tired...
'Bij' of course should be 'by'...
Beginning to treat Dutch and English as one language!
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey Break IV
Dated: Mon Nov 20 19:49:02

Yes, I am still here and in high demand, although I've never
been formally asked. But, I know you lurve it so here goes:
.
1) How do you know if an elephant has been inside your fridge?
"Footprints in the custard!"
.
2) How do you know if an elephant is inside your fridge?
"You can't shut the door!"
.
3) How do you know if an elephant is under your bed?
"Your nose touches the ceiling!"
.
4) How can you keep an elephant from smelling?
"Tie a knot in its trunk!"
.
.
:*)
 

From: Siva
Subject: Jokey Breaks
Dated: Tue Nov 21 20:04:07

Groan.
 

From: Archaro
Subject: Siva/Shed
Dated: Wed Nov 22 01:08:36

Shed... I think that was a groan of ecstacy.
And of anticipation of your next unearthly delight.
.
.
More! More!
Bravissimi!
Throw theh old bird a copper!
Hasn't been so much entertainment on Shades since L*rd*nt copped off with
half a dozen female impersonators at once.
(Ask Branwell, he was three of them.)
(He'll deny it of course.)
.
Gulp. Maybe I should take a long holiday somewhere remote.
.
Not Archie. Someone else.
 

From: Branwell
Subject: Archaro...
Dated: Wed Nov 22 15:23:57

..is shortly to die HORRIBLY!
 

From: Archaro
Subject: Branwell
Dated: Wed Nov 22 18:01:52

It wasn't me, I tell you!
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey Break V
Dated: Wed Nov 22 21:32:20

"Thank You, Thank You for your kind support! It means so
very much to me, thank you!"
.
1) A horse walks into a pub and up to the bar. He orders
a drink, and the bartender asks,
"Why the long face?"
.
2) A pork pie walks into a pub and up to the bar. He orders
a drink, and the bartender says,
"I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
.
3) "Knock, Knock!"
Who's There?
"Lettuce!"
Lettuce Who?
"Lettuce entertain you!!!"
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey Break VI
Dated: Thu Nov 23 18:24:39

MENTAL HELP HEALTHLINE:
.
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to
the mother ship.
.
(cont'd...)
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey VI Cont'd.
Dated: Thu Nov 23 18:28:36

If you are schizonphrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press since no-one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a
representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
.
(cont'd.
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey VI Cont'd.
Dated: Thu Nov 23 18:31:30

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the
beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem. Please hang up.
All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you're from Maryland, don't bother.
 

From: Barefoot
Subject: HELLO BOYS
Dated: Thu Nov 23 23:00:46

I'M BACK!!!!!
I'M BACK!!!!!
GET YOUR WEAPONS OUT
YOUR GONNA NEED EM!!!
 

From: Bergkamp
Subject: Xmas meet.
Dated: Fri Nov 24 17:37:34

So is this still happening??
 

From: Mindy
Subject: Xmas meet
Dated: Fri Nov 24 20:47:16

Well it is if we can sort a venue
so anyone who knows a pub, preferably in London
with easy wheelchair access, and a non-smoking bit
(or at least large and airy!) let me know!
M xx
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey Break VII
Dated: Sun Nov 26 01:46:48

.
1) Light travels faster than sound.
"This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak!"
.
2) Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm
and leg in a car crash?
"He's all right now!"
.
3) I knew an old man with a wooden leg named 'Smith'.
"Oh? What was the name of his other leg?"
 

From: Perialaga
Subject: BB Results
Dated: Sun Nov 26 21:50:33

Results for todays BB:
Gypsy 11 Kill 2 Defeats
Bogus 6 Kills 3 Defeats
Ninja 6 Kills and 1 Death
Moriarty & Moonraker 4 Deaths
Surazal 7 Deaths
Motley 12 Deaths
Hope you all had fun!
Peri
 

From: Brid
Subject: xmas meet
Dated: Mon Nov 27 16:00:32

Ooops...
Looks like I might not be around after all...
 

From: Bergkamp
Subject: Xmas meet
Dated: Mon Nov 27 16:58:08

Well, pubs in london seem to all be nice and smokey!
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey Break VIII
Dated: Mon Nov 27 19:04:32

RIDDLE: A man was shot dead in his car, but the windows
were rolled up and all the doors locked. He did not
commit suicide, nor was anyone in the car with him.
How did he get killed?
.
.
.
He was in a convertible!
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey VIII Cont'd...
Dated: Mon Nov 27 19:33:33

.
Three women were talking about their love lives one day:
.
The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce,
smooth and sophisticated."
.
The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche, fast and powerful."
.
The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a
hand start and I have to jump on while it's still going!"
 

From: Darkangel
Subject: London pubs
Dated: Tue Nov 28 13:46:54

I could sugest a few good pubs...
But I don't think my idea of a good pub
would suit anyone else.
( I found this out at Arts B/day meet ) hehe
Mind you, things were interesting none the less.
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey Break IX
Dated: Wed Nov 29 00:42:34

.
1) How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"Three, one to screw it in and two to cheer him on!"
.
2) How many mums does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"None, she would prefer to sit in the dark!"
.
3) How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"One, but you will have to remind them 50 times!"
.
4) How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"Twenty-One, one to hold the bulb and twenty to turn the room!"
.
.
.
xxxxx
 

From: Paris
Subject: Darkangel's penchant...
Dated: Wed Nov 29 12:47:52

So, darkeepoos! Wot sorrt of Pubz were zey?
I sink ve shood be told no? Praps zey were notty barz
in zoho? Cackle.
 

From: Wired
Subject: Pubs - Darkangel Style
Dated: Thu Nov 30 08:25:36

No, they were not Paree, just
black, with weird ornaments and
interesting, tatoo covered peeps.....
with a mildly threatening atmosphere
W
 

From: Mindy
Subject: Pubs - Darkangel Style
Dated: Thu Nov 30 10:45:55

Well the decor sounds fine to me...
but I suspect that the smoke levels in such
an establishment would be rather unbearable
Hey ho.... anyone else with any good
ideas?
M xx
Brid! Waddya mean you might not be around????
Whaaaaaa! :-((((
 

From: Brid
Subject: Mindy
Dated: Thu Nov 30 15:40:22

Yeh, bit of a bummer...
But going to have a fabulous day with the inlaws that day
evening included... I think...
 

From: Pauli
Subject: Darkangel's pub
Dated: Thu Nov 30 20:01:51

Dont forget about the didgy bloke in the corner
dressed entirely in white
He was the only person in there that gave me the creeps
But then I won't be attending so it doesnt matter
 

From: Pauli
Subject: Oops
Dated: Thu Nov 30 20:02:20

I think that should be dodgy bloke
unless anyone knows what didgy means?
 

From: Pandora
Subject: Champers
Dated: Thu Nov 30 20:42:55

I really do get annoyed when a high level player
dies and then starts shouting 'unfair i was on low stam'
firstly, as a spellbinder I didnt know you were on low stam
secondly as a high level player you should know better than
to run around on low stam
and lastly, no one forced you to stay and fight, instead of
feeling you choose to stole the wep from me!!!
Now get over it for gods sake
 

From: Archaro
Subject: Pandora
Dated: Thu Nov 30 21:49:43

I'd choose to feel you, too, Pandora...
*kiss*
.
Archie
 

From: Pandora
Subject: Archie
Dated: Thu Nov 30 22:41:58

And me you too dear...
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Jokey Break X
Dated: Thu Nov 30 22:53:47

.
Okay, you've asked for it and here it is!! It's a joke to
tell your friends, work collegues, family and
at fancy-dress dinner parties! Wait for it.... here it goes:
.
What do you get when an epileptic farmer falls in his lettuce patch?
.
"Seizure Salad!"
.
.
Thank you, thank you! You've been a great audience.
I am indeed chuffed to be here in London tonight! Thank you!
 

From: Archaro
Subject: Evil Shedna
Dated: Thu Nov 30 23:22:05

That's it... get it all out of your system before
Saturday night...
 

From: SheDevil
Subject: Archie..
Dated: Thu Nov 30 23:56:42

.
Archie darling, I would NEVER let you down!
.
I've got LOADS of long ones to tell during our dinner and even
some extras for after :)
.
.
Love, SheDevil xxxxxxx